The Morning My Ex Broke In With a Gun | Kimberly Haar | 064

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Hey everybody, it's Mick
Weinholt, host of When You Look.

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There's a lot of incredible
insight and meaningful

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conversation in this episode,
but some of the topics we

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discuss may not be suitable for
younger listeners.

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Wanted to give you that heads up
going in.

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Ready.
Let's go.

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At 2:30 in the morning I woke up
to my bedroom door crashing down

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off the hinges.
My ex-husband was intoxicated.

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He had broken into my home.
He had a gun in his hand and for

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the next 4 hours he proceeded to
assault me.

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After that period of time he
looked at me and he said as

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punishment for ruining his life,
he was going to kidnap me and he

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was going to make me watch as he
murdered Andrew.

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Welcome to When You Look, where
ordinary people share their

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extraordinary experiences and
you get to decide, was it

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coincidence or God?
Kimberly Harr, welcome to When

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You Look.
Super excited to have you on the

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show.
I'm excited to be here.

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Thank you for having me.
Yeah, it is definitely our

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pleasure.
We are in for a a lot of hair

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being blown back.
I mean, this is this is hold on

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to your seats kind of stuff,
folks.

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We're going to go up and down
and we're going to see, I think,

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I suspect I am foreshadowing.
We're going to see God in

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action.
So, Kimberly, before we get into

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your amazing story, tell us a
little bit about yourself.

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All right.
Well, I am by profession.

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I'm a licensed counselor and I'm
a licensed marriage and family

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therapist.
I am a wife, I am a grandmother,

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I'm a stepmom, I'm a speaker,
I'm an author, and I'm a

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podcaster.
So other than that I don't do

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anything.
Yeah, you probably, you know,

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jump out of airplanes or
something like that for.

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Fun.
I have done that once.

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Oh, wow.
There we go.

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I I could sense it.
I could sense it so.

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Well, yeah, you certainly do
have your days full, and that is

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a wonderful blessing.
But let's get into the meat of

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your story, start us back to
where it begins, and then walk

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us through things as they
unfolded for you.

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Sure.
Well, let me go back to 2013 and

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in 2013 I say that I made the
hardest decision of my life and

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that was to end a marriage of 23
years.

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And my ex-husband and I, we had
four children and during our

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marriage, it was probably five
years into our marriage when we

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already had our four children, I
discovered my ex-husband had

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been unfaithful.
It was more one night stands,

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chat rooms, pornography.
But when you're a young mom and

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you've got 4 kids, it was like,
what do I do?

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And so I had been raised in the
church and I knew God could

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restore and knew God forgave.
And so I chose to forgive and

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forgive and forgive again
without really knowing how to

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set some healthy boundaries.
And so in 2013, I discovered my

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ex-husband was actually in an
affair.

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And when I discovered that, I
just knew in my heart that I

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could not stay in my marriage
any longer.

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And so I filed for divorce.
And at the time, our two

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youngest children were 15.
So I decided that for four years

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I was just going to stay home,
focus on my children, be a stay

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at home mom with my kids,
although I did work, but I was

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just going to focus all my
energy on them because I didn't

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want them to have to compete for
my attention if I decided to

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date again.
Well, 2017 came around and my

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youngest children, they were
getting ready to go to college.

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I was empty nesting.
And I woke up in January 2017

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and I just felt this stirring
inside me.

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And it was just, I felt this
during the said this is the year

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you're going to be married
again.

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And I could swear I heard the
words buckle your seat belt.

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But I thought, well, that just
means it's going to go fast.

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And that's fine with me.
And so I was 50 years old and I

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don't know, Mick, if when you're
50 year old woman, I was like,

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where do you go to meet
somebody?

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Because I was not a a bar scene
person, I tried several of the

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church singles groups but I was
just like I wasn't meeting

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people.
So I decided that I was going to

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start and try online dating.
And let's just say that it's not

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for the weak of heart.
It could be an image killer.

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But as when I was a child, I
grew up in Canada at a fishing

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camp and something I learned
about fishing was if you wanted

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to fish, the more lines you have
in the water the better chance

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you have at catching a fish.
So I thought OK, maybe that will

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apply to dating as well.
So I didn't join just one dating

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site.
I joined 5 dating sites.

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And, and so for about, I want to
say maybe 3 months, I started

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like in January, I had 13 first
dates and I just decided this

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was not for me and I was ready
to hang it up.

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But there was a man that reached
out to me and I thought, well,

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he looks nice.
You know, I can at least be a

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friend.
I was like, this is going to be

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the last time I go out with a,
with a blind date like this.

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And I met him.
And when I met him, I knew this

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was the person and his name was
Andrew.

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He was an engineer.
And we dated each other every

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single day for almost 4 weeks.
And during that four weeks we

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both knew we wanted to marry.
Now Andrew asked me probably

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after about two weeks of dating.
He looked at me and he said, I

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asked Google how long I need to
know somebody before I know that

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I'm in love, which is the
engineer brain.

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And so anyways, I knew.
He said, you know, I want to

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marry you.
So we knew this is where this

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was going.
We were both in our 50s.

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We had both been married before.
So, you know, if we were at a

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stage in life where we just
knew.

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And so we had dated about four
weeks and one evening I got a

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call from my ex-husband and he
asked me to come by his

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apartment to talk to him about
our adult children.

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And this was not uncommon
because we had a friendly

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divorce.
You know, we obviously divorced

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for reasons.
But so I stopped by his

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apartment and realized rather
than talking about our adult

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children, he wanted to talk
about reunifying.

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He wanted to talk about me
giving him another opportunity

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and when I told him I had moved
on and I said I think you need

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to move on as well, he looked at
me and he said maybe I'm just

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going to have to go talk to that
man.

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Now.
It didn't make sense to me

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because I've never talked to him
about him.

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I hadn't mentioned his name, so
I wasn't real sure what that

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meant.
I wasn't scared, but I was

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frustrated.
And so I left his apartment that

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evening and I called Andrew and
I said, can I come by your home

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and just kind of give you a
little heads up, tell you what

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happened?
So it was about 9:00 at night

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and I stopped by Andrew's house
and I told him what happened and

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I looked at him and I said,
Andrew, would you fight for me?

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And he looked down at me and he
said, well, of course I would.

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He said you're worth it.
And I left.

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I was feeling fine, feeling
reassured.

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I went home and I was getting
ready to get in bed.

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And because I was empty,
nesting, obviously, I locked my

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front door every day.
But something stirred in me and

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said lock your bedroom door.
I didn't question that feeling.

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It was kind of like well I'll
just go lock my bedroom door.

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So I did and I went back to
sleep and at 2:30 in the morning

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I woke up to my bedroom door
crashing down off the hinges.

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My ex-husband was intoxicated.
He had broken into my home.

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He had a gun in his hand and for
the next 4 hours he proceeded to

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assault me.
After after that period of time,

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he looked at me and he said his
punishment for ruining his life,

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he was going to make me get in
the vehicle with him.

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He was going to kidnap me and he
was going to make me watch as he

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murdered Andrew.
And so we were driving to

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Andrew's house.
You know, I was praying

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protection.
I was saying, Lord help Andrew

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go to work early on this day
because it was by this time it

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was about 6:00 in the morning.
And when we got to Andrew's

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house, Mike's husband looked at
me and he said, now you can go

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do whatever you need to do.
And he left the keys in the

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ignition as he reached in the
back seat, got the gun, got the

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extra bullets, and I jumped into
the driver's seat to make a

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getaway to go get help.
But as I did, I heard three

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gunshots and I knew that there
was no way Andrew was going to

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survive this.
So I made a getaway.

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I went to US, the closest
supercenter I could find and I

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ran in screaming.
Now my face was unrecognizable

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but I was screaming.
Call 911 and I'm sure it was

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only a few seconds but it seemed
like forever because everybody

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was just staring at me in
horror.

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And I looked down and I had a
cell phone in my hand.

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And so the only thing I can
figure out is it must have

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belonged to my ex-husband.
So I called 911 and 911 was

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dispatched.
I told them I said tell the

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police to be careful.
I said because my ex-husband

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said this day is not going to
end good.

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I was taken to an emergency
room.

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I would later learn that Andrew
had been shot 10 times.

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He had been shot in his femoral
artery, in his leg, in his back,

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in his arm and I knew he had
survived.

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We were taken to two separate
hospitals.

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All I knew is he had survived,
but his adult son had called me,

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and I'd met him one time and he
said, we're sorry this happened

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to you guys, but we think you
guys need to go your separate

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ways.
And my heart sank.

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And so when I left the emergency
room and, you know, I went and I

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stayed at an uncle and aunt's
house, they gifted me their home

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for this summer.
There was a big beautiful

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pergola in her backyard and when
I saw it, I knew that was the

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place I was going to begin to
start my healing.

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But all I knew is Andrew had
been shot.

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I knew he had survived, but I
didn't know anything else than

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that because he was under an
assumed name in the hospital, so

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I couldn't find him and he
wasn't at work.

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He took time off work obviously
for injuries and I think by that

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time he had maybe 9 surgeries,
10 surgeries.

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So I couldn't find him at work.
He wasn't in his house because

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obviously he didn't go back.
So I didn't know where he was

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after those.
It was a very long 5 weeks and I

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was at my uncle and aunt.
I was outside at the pergola.

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I was praying.
I had my cup of coffee and I

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looked down at my phone and
there was a message from Andrew

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and all is said was, hey, I'm
alive now.

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How do you respond to that?
Yeah, so I said yippee.

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And I went on to explain how
sorry I was and I wanted him to

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know that I did not have
anything to do with this.

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I had not given my ex-husband
the address.

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I didn't realize I had been
being stalked during that time.

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But I wanted Andrew to know that
I didn't lead my ex-husband

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there.
And so I asked him.

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I said, can I come see you?
He told me he was going into the

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hospital because his wounds had
gotten infected.

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He had to have another surgery.
And when I said can I come see

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you, he said no.
He goes, I need to get through

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the surgery.
I'll contact you when I'm done.

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He said, but take care.
And I thought, what does take

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care mean?
Does take care mean I wish you

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well, you know, go on with your
life.

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And so this was a really long,
you know, I think was probably

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four or five days.
And he reached back out to me

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and he said a visit would be
nice.

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But he said, come to the
hospital when my adult children

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aren't around because by this
time, you know, his and his

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kids.
And I don't blame them.

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I mean, here Dad started dating
somebody and he's shot.

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So he said, come when my adult
children are around.

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So here I'm 50 years old, and
I'm sneaking around the

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hospital.
And I still had bruises

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underneath my eyes.
They still hadn't completely

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gone away.
But I opened the door to

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Andrew's room and I looked at
him and I said, where does this

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leave us?
Hey, it's Mick Real quick,

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before we keep going, if this
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00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,840
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All right, back to it.
He looked at me and he said, I

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don't know.
He said, because I've read the

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felony counts.
He goes, I know what happened to

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you.
And he said, and you're really

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going to be messed up.
And he said, I know what

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happened to me and I'm really
going to be messed up.

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And something came over me and I
thought I may not have another

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opportunity.
So I looked at him.

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00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:48,320
I shook my finger in his face
and I said, Andrew Harr, you

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00:13:48,320 --> 00:13:50,480
will never meet another woman
like me.

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00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,400
And I didn't even leave the
hospital room.

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I stayed there probably till
closing.

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00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:00,400
And you know, Andrew smiled.
I sat up next to him in his

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00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:02,840
hospital bed.
And four weeks later, we were

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00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:04,920
engaged.
Four months later we were

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00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,960
married.
And we have now been married for

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00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:12,960
eight amazing years.
But it was those five weeks in

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00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:14,720
between where there was no
contact.

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00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,040
I tell you, there was a lot of
healing that had to begin

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00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:22,520
happening.
Yeah, Kimberly.

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00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,800
Oh, my goodness, young lady.
Wow.

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00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:33,360
Wow.
I'm thinking of where do we go

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00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,280
from here?
Because there is there is so

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00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:41,680
much.
Let's come back, though, to the

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00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:45,560
pergola.
You had this sense.

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00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,800
Tell us about all of that.
Yeah.

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00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,480
You know, when my uncle and aunt
were giving me the tour of their

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00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:53,120
home, they were leaving for
Canada.

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00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,800
And so when they they gave me
the tour of their home and I saw

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00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,760
this pergola, it was the biggest
pergola I've ever seen.

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00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:02,880
It had two swings on it.
But I have this sense that just

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00:15:02,880 --> 00:15:06,240
like in the Bible where Moses
saw the burning Bush and he had

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00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:09,720
to take, he took off his sandals
and he said this is holy ground.

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00:15:10,240 --> 00:15:12,560
I knew this was going to be a
very holy ground.

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00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:16,160
I knew this is where I, it's
like I couldn't wait for my, my

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00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,600
aunt and uncle to leave because
I wanted to get out there

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00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:22,280
because I knew this is like
where I was going to meet the

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00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:26,360
Lord and this is, this was going
to be just a healing place.

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00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:30,000
And the first few days, you
know, I wrapped myself in a big

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00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,880
green blanket and I would go out
in the back on the cement patio

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00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:39,360
and I would lay prostate on the
ground and I just wept.

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00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:44,400
And I, I didn't know you could
like your body can weep.

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00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,960
And it was like my body was
weeping.

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00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:50,200
And I told the Lord, I said, I
don't have any words to pray.

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00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,960
I said, I've never felt so
broken.

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00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:57,240
I've never felt so abandoned and
alone and damaged.

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00:15:57,240 --> 00:16:02,040
And, and, but I also remembered
a scripture in Zephaniah that

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says the Lord rejoices over us
with singing.

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00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:09,320
And so I prayed and I said,
Lord, I'm asking you to sing

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00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,080
over me and breathe life back
into my body.

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00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,240
And each day I would get up, I
would put on praise and worship

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00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:20,360
music.
I would let that bathe me.

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00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:25,240
And one day I heard a song
called Dance with Me by Paul

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00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:29,160
Wilbur.
And the meaning of the song was

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00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,680
how God comes and he woos our
hearts and he chases after us

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00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:37,560
and we're his beloved.
And by this time I had, this was

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00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,240
kind of what was happening in my
conversation between me and the

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00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,400
Lord.
I was telling the Lord what to

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00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,640
do, when to do it, how he should
do it.

290
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,200
And then I was saying, oh, and
Lord, I trust you.

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00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:56,480
And I was calling my friend
saying, get us on every prayer

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00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:58,320
chain.
This is what you need to pray,

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00:16:58,320 --> 00:17:02,240
how you need to pray.
And I went out one day with my

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00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:05,520
pastor's wife for coffee.
And I was getting ready to give

295
00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:09,319
her my whole spiel, how to pray.
And she looked at me and she

296
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,599
said, Kim, you're making Andrew
your idol.

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00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,520
She said you're putting your
happiness on whether he comes

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00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:19,839
back or not.
And he she said that space of

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00:17:19,839 --> 00:17:23,319
happiness and joy is the place
Jesus is supposed to take.

300
00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:29,160
And when she said that, it
really took me back a little bit

301
00:17:29,200 --> 00:17:34,240
and I, the next time I went to
the pergola, I told the Lord, I

302
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,920
said, Lord, I don't want to
trust you.

303
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:41,240
I said, I'm scared to trust you
because what if you don't give

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00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:44,000
me what I want?
You know, how many times do we

305
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,320
do that?
And but I said, but I'm going to

306
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,920
trust you.
I made a decision.

307
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,240
I made a choice, but I will
trust you.

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00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:59,680
And I said as a physical sign of
me trusting you, I put my hands

309
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:04,600
like in this walls position and
I would close my eyes and I

310
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,800
would put that song on dance
with me.

311
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:10,560
And I would just imagine myself
being held in the Lord's

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00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:14,080
embrace.
And it was like, Lord, I'm tired

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00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,920
of trying to lead and I am
surrendering control.

314
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:23,680
And I at the end of the song, I
would bow my head and I would

315
00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:27,200
curtsy in my little blanket or
my bathrobe, whatever I was

316
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:31,040
wearing that day.
And it was like, Lord, this is

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00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:35,520
my sacrifice of praise because
my heart is heavy, but I'm

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00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:39,400
lifting my hands.
And so that was the beginning of

319
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:44,040
really making choice after
choice after choice and not

320
00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,640
following feelings because my
feelings, my life was falling

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00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:51,760
apart.
Yeah, let's just explore that a

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00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,240
little bit more.
I think there's, you know, the

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00:18:54,240 --> 00:19:00,120
listeners for sure can can begin
to empathize and emote, you know

324
00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:03,120
what I mean, in terms of the
types of things that you were

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00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,480
feeling at that point from an
emotional standpoint and from a

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00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:10,840
physical standpoint.
But you're describing the

327
00:19:10,840 --> 00:19:16,960
importance of decisions here.
So illuminate that for us.

328
00:19:17,360 --> 00:19:20,120
Yeah, you know, when you talk
about the emotions and

329
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:23,720
everything that I felt, I, I
think I felt every emotion.

330
00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,680
I felt anger.
I told the Lord, I'm angry at

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00:19:26,680 --> 00:19:28,920
you.
How could you let this happen?

332
00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:32,440
Where were you?
I told him I didn't want to

333
00:19:32,440 --> 00:19:34,040
trust him.
I had fear.

334
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:38,240
I lost, I really lost a sense of
safety in those moments because

335
00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:42,640
I lost a sense of safety of the
world because now the world's

336
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,800
not safe.
People that love you can harm

337
00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:47,800
you.
And and I lost, you know, I was

338
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:51,320
grieving my past, my present and
my future and I was like, God,

339
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,160
did you like dangle a carrot in
front of my face?

340
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:58,120
I'm finally, I'm really happy
and it was just taking in a way.

341
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:04,120
And you know, the part of of
really even in making those

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00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:10,880
choices was my heart didn't I
didn't want to surrender.

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00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,680
I didn't want to trust God.
I didn't want to.

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00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:16,480
Some days I didn't want to get
out of bed.

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00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:20,160
I didn't want to.
I didn't want to forgive.

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00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:24,040
I had to really look at, OK,
I've got to do some grieving and

347
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:27,720
forgiving here.
And so there was, there were so

348
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:31,880
many things I was going through.
It felt like every day there was

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00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,720
just like so much going on that
it was like, how am I going to

350
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:38,560
survive this day?
And so that's when I would go to

351
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,360
the pergola and I'd go with all
my emotions and I would tell the

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00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:45,600
Lord, this is my emotion.
And in healing, you know, as a

353
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,480
therapist, I always tell people
healing isn't linear.

354
00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:52,760
So it wasn't like I just had
every day and each day was

355
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:56,320
better and it was just clean
and, and, and this little

356
00:20:56,320 --> 00:21:00,040
package with a bow on it, the
healing was really messy.

357
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:04,520
There were there were days when
I felt like, OK, I can breathe

358
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,360
again.
This is a good day.

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00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:08,960
And the next day I was on my
face weeping.

360
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:13,000
And so that was the part of
grieving and really walking

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00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,200
through everything, but really
holding on to the Lord, knowing,

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00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,560
OK, God, I'm just going to trust
that you're there with me.

363
00:21:21,120 --> 00:21:25,720
Yeah.
And then you're in this very

364
00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:28,720
precarious position, right, of
many weeks.

365
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:33,360
You talked about 5 weeks or so
having no idea where Andrew is.

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00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:37,160
What what, what was that all
like as you're going through all

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00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:40,840
of the emotions and and then
physical healing as well.

368
00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:45,840
Yeah, physically, you know, my
healing was, I had physical

369
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,840
healing I had to go through, but
it was really so much more

370
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,720
emotional.
Obviously, when I went to the

371
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,640
emergency room, you know, they
did X-rays to make sure that

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00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:57,320
there were no broken bones in,
you know, my skull, my body.

373
00:21:58,440 --> 00:22:00,440
You know, I had been beaten.
I was bruised.

374
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:05,120
But it was so much more of the
emotional part.

375
00:22:06,040 --> 00:22:08,400
And, you know, part of that
healing.

376
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,560
When I didn't hear from Andrew
for those wigs, first of all, it

377
00:22:11,560 --> 00:22:16,320
was like my world fell apart.
It was like that's all I could

378
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,040
think about.
I even, you know, I reached out

379
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,200
for help immediately.
I called my pastor and then I

380
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:24,000
called a Christian therapist
because I knew a therapist

381
00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,800
wasn't going to fix anything,
but I wanted them to walk beside

382
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,080
me to make sure I didn't get
stuck and not heal.

383
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:34,080
And I think the therapist was a
little surprised, looking back,

384
00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:39,240
that I was more upset about
losing Andrew than I was about

385
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,040
anything that had happened to me
that day.

386
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,240
And because that was, that was
my promise of happiness for the

387
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:49,080
future.
So it was, it was a grueling 5

388
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,360
weeks.
It was, it was a hard, hard time

389
00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:56,040
of my life.
Yeah, because you had had talked

390
00:22:56,040 --> 00:23:00,800
at kind of the outset of that
year, you felt as if God had

391
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:04,640
made it clear this is the year
for you to get married.

392
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:05,360
You know?
That's right.

393
00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,080
Yeah.
Wow.

394
00:23:10,080 --> 00:23:13,080
Well, I don't want to dwell too
long here, Kimberly, but I, I

395
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:21,120
think it is worth exploring a
tiny bit as you are freed and

396
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,320
they're able to escape, we'll
say.

397
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,360
Right.
And you hear gunshots.

398
00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:27,200
I mean, what?
What is that like?

399
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:31,760
You know, I don't think that
there's words for what that's

400
00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:34,400
like.
It's like, it's kind of like

401
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:38,000
when your stomach just sinks.
But it was also, I was in fight,

402
00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,600
fight freeze mode.
You know, when, when, when

403
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:45,400
trauma happens, your body goes
into shock, Your, your body goes

404
00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:50,120
into like autopilot.
And so it, it wasn't until

405
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:53,240
later, it was just like, all I
knew is I just needed to get to

406
00:23:53,240 --> 00:23:56,320
safety.
And after I called 911, that was

407
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,920
the moment when I was taken back
into a storehouse while I was

408
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,360
waiting for the ambulance.
That was the first time I

409
00:24:02,360 --> 00:24:07,160
remember thinking, I'm safe.
Now it's like I'm safe.

410
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:11,080
So now I don't have to be.
Now I could let myself fall

411
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:13,960
apart.
Now I could let myself have

412
00:24:13,960 --> 00:24:16,520
somebody else tell me what I
needed to do, because up until

413
00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:19,200
that point I had to maintain my
wits about me.

414
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:25,520
Yeah, Oh my goodness.
You know, there was a Part 2 of

415
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:29,680
right after I, I want to say
right after the four hours where

416
00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:33,000
I was assaulted.
There was a moment in in time

417
00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,480
there where I was lying on my
bed and I was scared.

418
00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,040
I didn't know if I was going to
live or die.

419
00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:43,040
And all of a sudden I sensed a
presence in the room and I

420
00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:47,920
couldn't see this presence, but
somehow I knew, I recognized

421
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:51,480
this presence and I knew that I
knew that I knew that it was the

422
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:54,160
presence of God.
It was a sad presence.

423
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:59,560
And you know, the only thing I
don't understand, you know, bad

424
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:01,360
things happen in this world.
There's human.

425
00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:04,960
God gave us human will.
And, and I don't understand how

426
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,760
everything works, but I know
that I just felt like it was the

427
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,560
Lord's presence beside me.
And it was a sadness of knowing,

428
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:15,840
Hey, I see what's going on here.
But it was like it was like he

429
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:19,880
was holding my hand.
And in that moment, fear left

430
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:22,160
me.
I felt a calm.

431
00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,000
I still didn't know if I was
going to live or die.

432
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:30,240
But I remember thinking, if I
die, I will not have died alone.

433
00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,440
And it was just like, I liken
it.

434
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:38,360
I liken it a little bit like
when I took one of my children,

435
00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:41,040
this is 30 years ago.
I took them, you know, for their

436
00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,640
kindergarten immunizations.
The big crocodile tears are

437
00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:47,920
coming down as they're looking
at me like, mom, why are you

438
00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:51,600
letting them do this?
And I remember taking my child's

439
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:55,520
face in my hands and I remember
getting right into their eyes

440
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:59,920
and saying, look into my eyes, I
am not going anywhere.

441
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,600
Mommy is here.
And that's what I felt.

442
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:08,440
I felt like the Lord was saying,
look into my eyes, I am not

443
00:26:08,440 --> 00:26:12,000
going anywhere.
ABBA father, which is daddy,

444
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:17,280
Daddy is here.
And there was just such a a calm

445
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:22,320
assurance that that I felt in
that moment that was a part of

446
00:26:22,320 --> 00:26:24,160
that morning.
Wow.

447
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:31,320
And it's it's quite distinct
that you both knew it was the

448
00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:36,000
presence of God and also
understood it to be sad.

449
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:41,160
Yes, that surprised me.
It's like I didn't it will.

450
00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:43,600
You know, when you think about
the presence of God, you don't

451
00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:45,960
think about the sad presence of
God.

452
00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:49,480
Absolutely.
But you know, I think that maybe

453
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,920
the Bible talks so much about
God being our father, a parent.

454
00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:57,360
And I think about me as a mom.
How do I feel when my children

455
00:26:57,360 --> 00:27:01,240
are hurt or hurting?
When you're, you're like

456
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,720
watching things happen and it's
like your heart is so grieved.

457
00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:10,280
And it was, it was it just, it
took me by surprise And I just

458
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,800
remember thinking, I, I don't
think I even thought anything.

459
00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:17,080
I think I just sat with that.
I think I just sat with that.

460
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,440
But it was like almost like, but
don't leave me.

461
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:22,680
And yet I couldn't see this
presence.

462
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,160
But it was just like, I just
knew, don't leave me.

463
00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,960
Yeah.
And this is all happening in the

464
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:36,160
midst of an incredibly chaotic
block of roughly 4 hours or so.

465
00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:39,560
It was.
Wow.

466
00:27:40,800 --> 00:27:46,200
Well, you make your way,
ultimately to the hospital as

467
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:51,880
you described, and Andrew is now
willing to entertain a visit.

468
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:57,840
And you described what you said
to him with your finger pointed

469
00:27:57,840 --> 00:27:58,840
at him.
That's right.

470
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:04,600
And and I, I get this sense that
maybe just maybe based on what

471
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,200
you said.
So this is where my question

472
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:10,280
comes in that that may have been
slightly out of character for

473
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,800
you to say how you said, say
what you said and how you said

474
00:28:13,800 --> 00:28:15,440
it.
Maybe, maybe not.

475
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:18,120
So.
You've never done that.

476
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:20,800
Yeah, that like that's kind of
where I'm going.

477
00:28:20,800 --> 00:28:24,600
Yeah, because I've I've heard of
similar scenarios in other

478
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,360
stories.
So tell us about that particular

479
00:28:28,360 --> 00:28:31,720
moment.
I think that moment I just felt

480
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:35,720
like I had to remind him because
we had, we had had the most

481
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:39,680
amazing 4 weeks and it wasn't
just like, hey, this is like my

482
00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,800
boyfriend.
This is, it's like we both just

483
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:46,800
knew.
And I don't know if I felt like

484
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:51,520
I needed to remind him of that.
I didn't know, but it was I, I

485
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,520
did feel like this may be my
last opportunity.

486
00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:57,640
This may be the only time.
This may be my goodbye.

487
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:04,000
And so I just had to give it all
I had and and he's been dealing

488
00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:10,280
with me ever since.
And I think he'd agree he's not

489
00:29:10,280 --> 00:29:14,360
met somebody like that before.
Well, there you were.

490
00:29:14,360 --> 00:29:16,920
You were, you were not only
prescient, but prophetic, I

491
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:17,760
guess.
So that's.

492
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,200
Right.
Well, so let's let's extend that

493
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:26,880
arc a little bit.
So from that conversation, where

494
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,440
do things go?
We know where they ultimately

495
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,760
landed, right?
You talked about being engaged

496
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,160
shortly thereafter, but you know
color that in for us a bit.

497
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:38,000
Sure.
Well, during this time, before I

498
00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,880
reconnected with Andrew, I
actually had to go back to work

499
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,560
because I was on like FM Lai had
taken and some time off.

500
00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:48,400
But you know, taking four weeks
off of work when you've gone

501
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,160
through something like that
really is nothing.

502
00:29:50,680 --> 00:29:55,840
And so there was a part of I was
having to re engage in my life

503
00:29:55,840 --> 00:29:59,960
and I had gotten to the point
where I had told the Lord, it's

504
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:04,640
like, if I never see Andrew
again, I'm going to trust you.

505
00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:09,200
I'll be sad.
I may complain a little, but I'm

506
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,280
ultimately going to trust you
with that.

507
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:15,000
And so I had begun to re engage
in my life.

508
00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:19,960
So when I actually reunited with
Andrew, we still were going

509
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:23,200
about living and you know, 4
weeks later when we were

510
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,280
engaged, you know, of course
then we had the planning the

511
00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:32,080
wedding we had, but it was, it
was really a continuation.

512
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:36,400
It it felt like we picked right
back up where we were before and

513
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:40,160
except Andrew had, you know, he
had a tender his wounds, he had

514
00:30:40,160 --> 00:30:45,360
an IV for a while that he had to
do infusions and but it felt

515
00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:48,000
like it felt like we just picked
right back up that.

516
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,040
Is incredible, Kimberly.
Wow.

517
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:57,000
He's a pretty incredible man.
He's a pretty incredible man.

518
00:30:58,040 --> 00:31:04,640
Praise God, I want to come back.
I feel like I'm bouncing around

519
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:09,000
here so forgive me for this, but
I want to come back to the

520
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:14,880
conversation that you had at
lunch and about Andrew being

521
00:31:14,880 --> 00:31:16,080
your idol.
OK.

522
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:22,560
And then more I think
importantly, you surrendering

523
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,800
that.
Yeah, yeah.

524
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:30,640
You know, I think that all of us
have opportunities and we don't

525
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:33,920
realize we're making idols and
putting things in the place

526
00:31:33,920 --> 00:31:37,080
where God wants to be in our
hearts, whether it's our jobs,

527
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,360
our ministries, our children,
our spouses.

528
00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:47,080
And when my pastor's wife told
me that that I was, I was making

529
00:31:47,080 --> 00:31:49,320
an Andrew, an idol.
Let me back up.

530
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:52,240
I was raised in what I like to
say, a greenhouse of faith.

531
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:56,520
I was raised, I accepted Jesus
at five years old and I never

532
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,400
walked away.
My parents lived what they what

533
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:04,720
they taught us.
And so for me it was I didn't

534
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:08,080
want, I didn't want Andrew to be
in Jesus place.

535
00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:13,080
So when she brought recognition
to that and it was like, oh, it

536
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:15,160
was like I knew I had to do
something about it.

537
00:32:15,560 --> 00:32:19,080
It was like I had to realign
that.

538
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:23,840
And and this is even, you know,
in that childlikeness, that

539
00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:27,440
childlike faith, many people run
away from the Lord when bad

540
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:31,040
things happen, they blame God,
they run away from God.

541
00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:36,480
And those thoughts never
occurred to me because I knew I

542
00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:41,920
have to run to him because if I
want my healing, it's like it.

543
00:32:41,920 --> 00:32:43,800
It's kind of like a little kid
that wants to, when they're

544
00:32:43,800 --> 00:32:45,520
hurt, they want to run to their
parent.

545
00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:48,240
That's what I felt.
It's like I've got to run to my

546
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:51,480
heavenly Father because I don't
know how to heal.

547
00:32:51,680 --> 00:32:56,720
I don't know how to do this.
And that's where Psalm 23 really

548
00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:00,520
came into play with Yeah, though
I walk through the valley, the

549
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:03,040
shadow of death.
I'll fear no evil because you're

550
00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:06,400
with me.
And that's really such.

551
00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,760
The part of my story is God was
there.

552
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:13,320
Sometimes people say where is
God when bad things happen, but

553
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:16,560
they say it is an accusation
like God wasn't there.

554
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:22,240
And when I look back to my
situation, where was God?

555
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,480
You know, God may not have been
there in the way I wanted him to

556
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:30,680
be, but God was there.
And friends that would send me a

557
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:32,800
late night text of
encouragement.

558
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,440
I had one specific text message
two days after the event

559
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,880
happened.
It was a friend.

560
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:43,080
She had never been to my home
before and it was 11:00 at

561
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:46,440
night, 11:30.
And she said I'm so sorry what

562
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:48,920
happened.
I don't have words to say, but

563
00:33:48,920 --> 00:33:51,880
the scripture keeps coming to me
and I need to share it with you.

564
00:33:52,520 --> 00:33:56,560
And it was the scripture that
says the Lord will fight for

565
00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:58,520
you.
All you need to do is be still.

566
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:03,800
And what she didn't know is that
exact scripture was on my

567
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,920
bedroom wall.
It was a a big long rectangular

568
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:11,719
picture and a bullet had hit
above it and a bullet had hit

569
00:34:11,719 --> 00:34:14,480
below it.
And she had no clue that was in

570
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,840
my room.
And she sent that to me two days

571
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:20,199
after the event had happened.
And so when I said, where was

572
00:34:20,199 --> 00:34:22,800
God, God was there in the late
night text.

573
00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:25,360
He was there in the people that
brought me food.

574
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,320
He was there in the favor at
work.

575
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:30,960
When I got time off, he was
there, you know, with with

576
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:34,360
finances that came in.
It was like God is there.

577
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:38,280
Sometimes we just have to look
and say, God, show me where you

578
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,280
are.
Yeah.

579
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:44,080
And and I'm, I'm chuckling
because I think you just did a

580
00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:52,560
wonderful job of outlining how
when we, when we admit that he

581
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:57,240
showed up, but just not in the
way that we wanted or expected.

582
00:34:57,240 --> 00:34:59,400
That's right.
It really does change our

583
00:34:59,400 --> 00:35:01,720
perspective on things.
That's not control thing.

584
00:35:01,720 --> 00:35:04,160
Again, it's like we want to
control God.

585
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,640
It's like God, you are good if
you do what I want.

586
00:35:08,920 --> 00:35:12,760
And that's the part saying God,
you are good when I don't get

587
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:16,640
what I want.
Yeah, no matter what, right?

588
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:17,880
That's right.
Yeah.

589
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:26,760
Well, help us understand the run
to him, because that's really

590
00:35:26,760 --> 00:35:28,440
important.
Yeah, yeah.

591
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:31,640
You know, I think that there is
a tendency and there is an

592
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:36,560
opportunity when we get hurt and
we go through hard things, like

593
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:40,040
I said before, to run away from
God, to get hard hearted.

594
00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:46,320
And I knew I was hurt hearted,
but I didn't want to be hard

595
00:35:46,320 --> 00:35:51,280
hearted.
And so there was a part of I

596
00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:55,080
didn't know, I didn't know what
to do.

597
00:35:56,240 --> 00:35:59,040
And so I wept.
And it's a little bit like David

598
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:03,320
in Psalms, you know, if you look
at Psalms, David was very honest

599
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:05,280
with his emotions.
He said, God, where are you?

600
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,040
My, my prayers are going up to
the ceiling and coming down.

601
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:11,200
I feel like you've abandoned me.
My bones are aching.

602
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,040
In fact, I would, as a
therapist, I would diagnose him

603
00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:18,160
as having major depressive
disorder because everything he

604
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:23,440
describes is depression and he's
complaining to the Lord and he's

605
00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:26,320
saying, this is what I feel.
But then he would end by saying,

606
00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:29,600
but this is what I know.
You are mighty, you are holy,

607
00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:35,280
you are just.
And so I ran to the Lord and I

608
00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,760
was like, I'm going to complain,
Lord, I'm going to tell you.

609
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:43,200
I was so raw with my emotions.
I would journal, I would journal

610
00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:47,520
prayers.
I would sometimes just sit in

611
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:52,480
silence and and cry, but it was
like, but I knew I was doing

612
00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:53,720
this in the presence of the
Lord.

613
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:55,680
I, it was like I knew he was
hearing me.

614
00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,520
And so that was that running
too, because if I ran to him, I

615
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:02,840
wasn't alone and I didn't want
to be alone.

616
00:37:03,360 --> 00:37:08,760
If I put walls up, I'm the one
that's blocking my relationship

617
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:10,440
with the Lord.
He's not.

618
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:13,080
God doesn't go anywhere.
We're the ones that go

619
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:17,080
somewhere.
If I ran to him, I knew I wasn't

620
00:37:17,080 --> 00:37:24,000
alone.
Well said, Well said.

621
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:30,800
Well, I want to land the plane
here because we have covered

622
00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:33,640
some absolutely incredible
ground.

623
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:39,160
But before we do that, give us
just a quick update on how

624
00:37:39,160 --> 00:37:46,280
Andrew's recovery went, because
I mean, getting shot 10 times is

625
00:37:46,280 --> 00:37:48,520
a big deal.
It's a big deal.

626
00:37:48,840 --> 00:37:52,080
It is a big deal.
Like I said, Andrew should have

627
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:55,680
died and he did not.
If you look at Andrew today, you

628
00:37:55,680 --> 00:37:57,840
would never know that he had
been shot.

629
00:37:58,680 --> 00:38:02,600
Now physically, he had to have,
I think it was 13 surgeries.

630
00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:06,560
He had to have his arm rebuilt.
He's got a titanium arm, kind of

631
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:09,760
like in this area, lots of lots
of metal.

632
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:14,240
But you would never know.
You would never know looking at

633
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:18,760
him and you would never know
even talking to him because in

634
00:38:18,760 --> 00:38:23,800
that graciousness, it's like he
has never really said anything

635
00:38:23,800 --> 00:38:27,240
negative about my ex-husband
because he's my ex-husband is

636
00:38:27,240 --> 00:38:31,360
the father of my children.
Andrew loves my children who are

637
00:38:31,360 --> 00:38:36,920
now our children as I do his.
But you would never know because

638
00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:42,360
there is he's a humble man.
He is a godly man and and he is

639
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,800
the hands and feet of Jesus.
He just, he loves me.

640
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,760
He's he.
He likes to say he serves me and

641
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:52,800
he does and he does.
So Andrew is doing wonderful.

642
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,000
We've got 3 grandbabies
together.

643
00:38:55,520 --> 00:38:58,400
We are, I think, in the best
part of our lives together.

644
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:05,360
Wow, That is incredible.
And the timeline as you have

645
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:08,680
outlined has a bunch of
different things happening in

646
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:11,640
it.
So you have to check me on this

647
00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:17,120
early in the year 2017.
You're feeling very strongly,

648
00:39:17,120 --> 00:39:19,480
You're being communicated.
This is the year.

649
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:20,920
That's right.
That's right.

650
00:39:20,920 --> 00:39:23,080
You end up getting married in
2017.

651
00:39:23,240 --> 00:39:29,120
I did.
I did.

652
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:37,120
Well, Kimberly, that is a great
segue into the segment that we

653
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:41,840
call coincidence or God, OK,
Because you know, here we've got

654
00:39:42,160 --> 00:39:44,680
the oh man, there's so many.
I'm literally not going to recap

655
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:47,120
them because you're smiling.
You know exactly where we're

656
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:52,040
going with absolutely many
people could look at these types

657
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,120
of things that you have
described, right?

658
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:58,600
Like being shot 10 times should
have been dead but is alive

659
00:39:58,600 --> 00:40:02,760
right being.
Quote UN quote told this is the

660
00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,400
year you'll be married, getting
married in that year.

661
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:09,680
Are those types of things
coincidence or God?

662
00:40:10,520 --> 00:40:13,400
What do you think, ABS?
You know what?

663
00:40:13,720 --> 00:40:20,160
I see God's hand at work and in
every, every instance of that of

664
00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:24,600
of that year, but also I see his
hand walking beside me my whole

665
00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,520
life.
So yeah, I'm not going to chalk

666
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:31,080
it up to coincidence.
Yeah, praise God.

667
00:40:31,520 --> 00:40:34,800
Well, how has your life changed
as a result of everything we've

668
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:38,040
been talking about?
You know what, I would say

669
00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:41,920
something that was a result of
what Andrew and I actually went

670
00:40:41,920 --> 00:40:44,560
through.
I didn't even know it was

671
00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:47,160
possible at the time, but my
faith has gotten deeper.

672
00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,800
His faith has absolutely gotten
deeper.

673
00:40:51,680 --> 00:40:54,160
It's we're beginning to actually
share.

674
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,360
I'm beginning to share that
story and I'll tell you as a

675
00:40:56,360 --> 00:41:01,280
therapist, you know, I wrote a
book about this story and it was

676
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,240
a really hard decision to come
out and write that book because

677
00:41:05,240 --> 00:41:07,760
as a therapist, I hold other
people's stories.

678
00:41:08,360 --> 00:41:13,440
It's not about my story.
And so it felt very vulnerable

679
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:16,320
putting my lifeout there
because, well, now people will

680
00:41:16,320 --> 00:41:19,720
know and it there's some very
private things in there.

681
00:41:20,640 --> 00:41:24,400
But the reason I did that is
when everything happened, it

682
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:28,920
came out in the news and what
the news reported was here's a

683
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:33,840
woman that was hurt, kidnapped,
assaulted, boyfriend shot, but

684
00:41:33,840 --> 00:41:36,880
that was the end of the story.
And so everybody could just

685
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:40,320
assume what happened from there.
And I didn't want that to be my

686
00:41:40,320 --> 00:41:43,200
story.
It was like, no, that was a part

687
00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:45,760
of the story.
But I really wanted people to

688
00:41:45,760 --> 00:41:49,680
know that the real story was
here was a woman that was hurt.

689
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:53,080
All those things happened too.
But the real story was that she

690
00:41:53,080 --> 00:41:56,400
ran to Jesus and that's where
she found the healing.

691
00:41:56,760 --> 00:42:00,160
And I like to say in the
beginning of our my story with

692
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,920
Andrew, I felt like Princess
Cinderella.

693
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:07,400
Everything was, was wonderful.
I'd found my Prince, but then it

694
00:42:07,400 --> 00:42:10,720
turned into Humpty Dumpty and
all the King's horses, all the

695
00:42:10,720 --> 00:42:12,560
King's men.
Couldn't put my heart back

696
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:15,400
together again.
But then I ran to the King of

697
00:42:15,400 --> 00:42:20,120
Kings, and the King of Kings
picks up those pieces and he

698
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:23,640
heals those and he makes them so
much more beautiful than they

699
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:29,440
ever were to begin with.
Yeah, man, that is phenomenal.

700
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:34,960
Well, you alluded to the title
of the book as you talked about

701
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:38,240
healing, but tell us the actual
title of the book because it's

702
00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:40,840
obviously fits with writing
right into what you were saying.

703
00:42:40,880 --> 00:42:43,000
Yes.
The title of my book is called

704
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,120
Healing from Life's Deepest
Hurts.

705
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,960
And then the subtitle is
Reclaiming Your Life after

706
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:52,360
Grief, Loss or Trauma.
Sometimes people will say, hey,

707
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:55,160
what happened to you is so much
worse than what happened to me,

708
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:56,960
and so they discount what
happened to them.

709
00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:00,200
And I like to just remind
people, trauma isn't what

710
00:43:00,200 --> 00:43:03,000
happened to you, it's the impact
it had about you.

711
00:43:03,160 --> 00:43:05,960
I went through fear, anxiety,
betrayal.

712
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:09,080
Other people have to.
So there's no comparison.

713
00:43:09,240 --> 00:43:12,160
So it doesn't have to be these
really big events to be

714
00:43:12,280 --> 00:43:14,400
classified as just trauma.
Yeah.

715
00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,640
I've even heard trauma just to
add to your point, sort of

716
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:21,120
describe with Little TS and Big
TS to some degree, Yeah.

717
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,040
So, yeah.
But I really appreciate that,

718
00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:26,920
that clarity there.
Yeah, but you are also a

719
00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:30,080
podcaster, as you mentioned, so
tell us a little bit about that

720
00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:34,440
and how in general people can
stay abreast of what you have

721
00:43:34,440 --> 00:43:36,000
going on these days.
Sure.

722
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:40,800
Well, the podcast I do is called
Keeping It Real, and it is.

723
00:43:40,800 --> 00:43:43,760
I do it with a friend of mine
from high school.

724
00:43:43,880 --> 00:43:48,360
So we've known each other.
Oh gosh, 45 years.

725
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,920
So we reconnected.
And so it's called Keeping It

726
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:54,360
Real with Kim Harr and Kim
Spence Mullen.

727
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:58,000
And we just say we talk about
being real, raw and restored.

728
00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,280
So there's no topic we won't
talk about.

729
00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:05,080
It's not it's not, you know,
deep Bible teaching.

730
00:44:05,280 --> 00:44:08,400
It's not deep therapy.
You've got two women that are

731
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,600
coming together.
It's like, OK, let's share our

732
00:44:10,600 --> 00:44:13,800
real thoughts and let's have
sometimes we cry, sometimes we

733
00:44:13,800 --> 00:44:16,400
laugh and giggle, but it's
always a good time.

734
00:44:17,200 --> 00:44:20,600
As far as where people can reach
me, they can go to my website

735
00:44:20,800 --> 00:44:26,600
and that is Kimberly har.com and
Har is spelled HAAR.

736
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:31,000
From there, you can kind of hook
up on my socials and get my book

737
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:34,160
on Amazon.
You can get it off my website if

738
00:44:34,160 --> 00:44:37,640
you go to my website.
I do have a bunch of of free

739
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:39,720
resources.
As a therapist.

740
00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:44,680
I love giving resources that are
just healing that people can use

741
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:49,240
pick up so they can sign up for
my Words of Hope e-mail

742
00:44:49,240 --> 00:44:52,320
newsletter too.
Fabulous.

743
00:44:52,320 --> 00:44:55,120
And we're going to link to every
bit of that for those that are

744
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:57,000
listening as they're driving
right now.

745
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,000
So you'll be able to grab all of
that stuff.

746
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:05,920
But Kimberly Har with 2As.com.
Kimberly, man, this has been

747
00:45:05,920 --> 00:45:09,040
fabulous.
I am so sorry for everything

748
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:12,800
that you've gone through.
And yet, yes, ma'am, absolutely.

749
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:18,560
And yet there is not even a hint
of sadness from you.

750
00:45:19,000 --> 00:45:23,840
It is, it is remarkable and it
is beautiful the healing that

751
00:45:23,840 --> 00:45:27,840
God has done.
I tell you it's work, but when

752
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:34,000
you do it, there is healing.
Yeah, and incredible having you

753
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:37,120
and when you look, thank you so
much for being on the show.

754
00:45:37,720 --> 00:45:45,000
Thank you Mick for having me.
Was it coincidence or God?

755
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:50,360
You decide for yourself, but I
believe you just heard a story

756
00:45:50,360 --> 00:45:53,800
for His glory.
When You Look is powered by

757
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:57,040
stories just like this and yours
could be next.

758
00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:01,480
Go to whenyoulook.com/be a Guest
or use the link in the

759
00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:05,240
description below.
Be sure to drop us a like, drop

760
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:08,840
a comment or share this episode
with somebody that needs it.

761
00:46:09,200 --> 00:46:12,600
And until next time, thanks a
bunch for listening and God

762
00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:13,080
bless.